32 Reasons Why You Might Be A Goth


This was given to me, can’t for the life of me think why. You check it out while I watch my favourite episode of Buffy – again. Sorry about the American spelling, couldn’t be bothered to edit it.

  1. You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
  2. You like to play dead in public
  3. You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face
  4. The shade of powder you wear is called “Sheet Of Paper”
  5. The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
  6. You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
  7. You go to Denny’s at 5 in the morning and think, “These are my people”
  8. You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
  9. You refer to your age in mortal years
  10. You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
  11. Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years
  12. You’ve willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
  13. You own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.’s
  14. You own even 1 Projekt c.d.
  15. You can’t decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier, then decide Wednesday blows them both away
  16. You were disappointed to find out that “American Gothic” is a portrait of two farmers
  17. You think of the hearse as a “family car”
  18. You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearview mirror in your car
  19. You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that’s been dead over 2000 years
  20. You have seen “Nightmare before Christmas” more than seven times
  21. Your purse is large, square and metal
  22. You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires
  23. You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards
  24. You spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre
  25. Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don’t stick out the way they used to
  26. Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does
  27. You refer to others as “The Normals”
  28. You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
  29. Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
  30. You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
  31. You and your boyfriend fight over who gets to wear the fangs
  32. This list made you depressed

About An Elephant's Child

Like the elephant's child I am filled with insatiable curiousity. I REALLY AM THE PERSON YOUR MOTHER WARNED YOU ABOUT.
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